Yesterday, around 10:00 in the morning, I got a call from my Dad while I was at work.  He was in tears.  He asked if I could take a long lunch to visit my Grandpa.  The doctor had given him anywhere from 24 – 36 hours left to live.

My grandfather has been sick for months, and near death several times over the course of those months.  It’s been hard for our entire family to watch him suffer, but we’ve had time to prepare ourselves for this.

When I arrived at my grandparents’ house my parents and my brother were there.  When I walked in to see Grandpa in his bed, my Dad was giving him a shave.  He stopped for a minute so I could talk to him.  I heard him breathing, but it sounded more like a slurping or gurgling sound.  His lungs were full of liquid from the Pneumonia.  I said, “Hey handsome!” as I squeezed his hand.  My Grandpa always had amazing strength in his hands.  He would grab your hand and squeeze it until you would squirm and whine for him to let you go. When I was still holding his hand and he wasn’t squeezing back.  He looked miserable with his mouth hanging open and his eyes completely glazed over.  My Grandma was sitting on a chair by the side of his bed and said, “Do you see who’s here, Katie’s here to say Hi.”  His eyes looked right through me.  My Grandma told me that he probably couldn’t see me, but he could hear everything I was saying.  But I didn’t really say anything for a while, just sat on the edge of his bed and held his hand while everyone talked amongst themselves and Dad finished his shave.  I only stayed for about 20 minutes.  I was actually really good the whole time, and didn’t cry a single tear.  But then I looked over across from his bed and saw a picture on his wall.  It was of nine of his grandchildren, the girls.  We were at Lake Powell and he was sitting on a sofa on the house boat, with all of us scrunched in around him.  Then I began to cry.

Then he squeezed my hand.

Not once, but several times.

I leaned over him, right in front of his face.  I said, “Do you know how much I love you?”  He just laid there, staring at me.  I told him I was going to miss him, and that I loved him very much.  I hugged him and kissed him on his bald head, and then looked at him again.  I said one more time, “Gramps, do you know that I love you?”

He looked right at me and nodded his head.  My Grandma and my Dad burst into tears.

I cried all the way back to work.

When I woke up this morning my mom called and told me that Grandpa had died around Midnight.

I am going to miss him.  I am sad he is gone, but happy he is free from all his pain and sickness.  This is my favorite picture of my grandparents.  It was taken outside the temple on our wedding day.  No, the picture is not cut off…my photographer randomly chose to capture these two this way.  Her, standing by his side.

I love you, Grandpa Orval.  And even though you always called me your (his words, not mine) “Little Shit”, scolded me for drinking too much soda, and rolled your eyes at my crazy ideas…I know you love me too!

See you soon…